The other day, I was putting together a package I do every year around this time. A physical glance will reveal pictures and a letter--what you wouldn't see is at first glance is all the emotion, a lot of joy and thankfulness, that pours out of me when I think about the recipient. Without ever really knowing us, Little Man's birth-mom, or tummy-mommy as we've been telling him, gave us a most incredible piece of our family, a piece that we could never had created on our own, but who is most definitely our son. He came into our lives so quickly, change our plans completely, and we are so the better for it. Still today he moves quickly, changes our plans constantly, and makes our lives better all the time. He is a strong leader with a great heart, and that's an amazing combination.
Back to the package.....Usually I put together this package on my own, pouring into it my prayers for Little Man's tummy-mommy, but mostly it's a pretty private event. This year, Little Man wanted to know what I was working on, and why am I putting pictures of him in an envelope, who was I sending it to? I got all kinds of advice too, like "mom, don't send that picture, send this one! Look at my good swimming in this one!" So I took this opportunity to talk to him about how he came to us. We've told him before that we got him at a hospital, that my tummy is broken so he grew in someone else's tummy. But this time, he wanted information like, who is she? What is her name? Where does she live? So I shared with him what I knew, and what I felt he could understand at this point. I know with each stage in life he'll have more questions, some I'll have answers to and some I won't, but I was actually relieved to share some of this with him. Keeping his adoption a secret from him was never what we wanted, and we have always been open with him about his adoption, but mostly up to now we have shared with him everything that happened AFTER we brought him home. This was mostly because we never knew of him until after he was born, but I just never knew how I would explain how he came to us, where he came from. But now I know, I don't have to explain....I just need to follow his lead on what he wants to know, and I'll answer as best I can. Though we have only a few details of his tummy-mommy, I am thankful for each piece of information, because someday he may want to know, or maybe he will never want it. Either way, I like knowing just who it is that grew this miracle for us. Even though I tell her in each letter how amazing she is for giving us this gift, I don't know if she'll ever really understand how grateful we are.
We have a couple pictures of her, and one thing I've noticed is that Little Man has her hands. So every time I look at his hands, I think of her and my joy overflows once again. I may never know how she feels about her decision, if she is glad she made it or does she regret it. I wonder about her a lot, how she is doing and where she is, and so I pray for her, that she is happy and having a good life. I do know with certainty that Little Man belongs in our family--without a doubt--and am forever thankful that his tummy-mommy made the choice she did. We are blessed.
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